At Least Cheetos Are Loyal
10 January 2001
4:01 PM: I've been sick, did I mention that I was sick? I was sick. More of the bad type of boding here. One flick of a climatological finger and I fall over, and then it takes days to get back up again. Of course if I had something like a reason to get back up, that'd be different.
Anyways, back at work. Broke down and got the chicken "gumbo" soup from the donut shop because I need to eat something, and chicken-based soups have been shown to be effective in clinical trials, as we know. (This is not to be confused with the actual culinary object known as 'gumbo', which is hot and tomatoey usually I think and has seafood in it and in any case is much better, especially if you like that sort of thing.)
Now I have to call my landlady to ask her to call the garbage company to schedule a large-item pickup for the apartment, because I am not allowed to ask them to do that. And by "schedule" they mean, "We will put you down on the list of people we go visit on the day that we would be coming to your neighborhood anyway." It's New English Day!
7:59 PM: Oh my god, I think it's hailing outside. How strange. Now it's stopped. For five minutes there I was sure that it was going to break the windows. 20 minutes ago it wasn't raining at all, not so you could hear anyways. Where are we, the tropics? I wish.
Hey, there's an idea. Let's dig a big canal across the peninsula. Then we could say things like "I live on de Big Island, mon."
8:01 PM: PS I have really terrible hair today but I'm not home where the Eyes of the Potatoe can show you. Lucky us.
Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.
All names are fake, most places are real, the author is definitely unreliable but it's all in good fun. Yep.
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The motto at the top of the page is a graffito I saw on Brunswick Street in Melbourne.