4 January 2001
2:31 PM: Why am I here? Why aren't I asleep? Why do I have to go to work? Why didn't I already go? Why aren't I back here after having gone? Why do people make such fun of Anna Nicole Smith? Why does my finger hurt? What time is it, anyhow?
Oh! Oh. OK.
6:34 PM: New shoes! Again! And this time they fit. Well, they fit more. I think my left foot is a size smaller than my right. My symmetry is broken - everything else is just a historical accident. (I've just been reading The Whole Shebang by Timothy Ferris about the beginning of the universe and the implicate reality where everything and everywhere and everywhen is all still just that one Big Bang point, and wondering whether we're flat or saddle-shaped, and oh just all kinds of good stuff.)
work is boing, I got here later than I was gonna but I'm not sleepy yet so it might be OK. Plus I ate soup. This is my life, it is lots of fun. I am a fun person! Fun fun fun! Woo hoo, as they say!
8:45 PM: Wai! They! They're coming! Giants! Maybe! Touring! End of this month! I almost didn't know!
I bought tickets plural, so of course no one will go with me. Sigh.
11:47 PM: I feel so pissed off right now, which is kind of odd, because I'm not mad about anything. A little annoyed, maybe. But it feels, physically, just the same. I was just now trying to leave a phone message with someone who wasn't quite getting the point ("Can I leave you my number?" "OK, I'll ask, goodbye.") and for a second I thought that I was being told that instructions had been left that I was not to be spoken to, me specifically, he said in a clever use of passive voice to avoid pronouns. That freaked me out a little, though I'm pretty sure now I misunderstood. So, small transient freakout + linguistic frustration + deadline pressure ==> adrenaline surge. Next time I start falling asleep I should call directory assistance in Latvia or something, I guess.
Today's Lesson: Kids, we all know that it's not really right to say "I'll call you" when we mean "Please go away and stop talking to me", but we all have done it, let's fess up. So no sense gettin all moral about it. But! It's important to remember that "I'll call you sometime" is vague and noncomittal - in fact, it's often understood to mean exactly what you're really thinking but are too chicken/polite/uninterested/hurried to say. Whereas, say, "Yes, let's do X next week, I will call you and we'll pick a time" is not vague and noncommittal. Just the opposite - it actually might be taken to be a sincere promise! And that's no good.
So remember, when we're givin folks the brushoff, what do we want to be? Vague and Noncommittal, that's right. OK now, you take care.
Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.
All names are fake, most places are real, the author is definitely unreliable but it's all in good fun. Yep.
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The motto at the top of the page is a graffito I saw on Brunswick Street in Melbourne.