Fun With Bill & Joe
7 August 2000
9:37 PM: I'm so unclean. I got a new PC at work today, and it has Windows 2000 Advanced Professional Server and Coffeepot on it. My 8-hour review is, Ew. The kind of OS where, with some luck and effort, you can make it not intolerable - turning off the "animation effects" that made just opening a fucking directory seem like you were stuck inside a PowerPoint presentation, for instance. Plus, all the temp files are in a directory named "Goat Fucking and Personal Crap" or some such, so when that other lovely piece of software, Vignette, tries to call an external editor, it uses that path sans quotes, and you end up editing C:/Goat. Lovely, just lovely.
But none of that is the worst thing. The worst thing, the weirdest thing, is that this OS is possessed. Really. Sometimes for no reason, the cursor will start racing around the screen like a 2D housefly on speed. Windows start opening and closing by themselves. Software tries to install itself from nowhere. After one episode of this, one of my terminal windows was permanently traumatized - every time you would move the cursor near it, it would scuttle off the side of the screen. Probably whimpering, but I had mute on.
Buggered if I know what's going on, but more to the point, buggered if I care. Am I interested in psychoanalyzing a 40 MB piece of code? No I am not.
In other news: Oh. Joy. Just what Gore needed - a sanctimonious prick for a running mate. And it's such good timing, too - all those DMCA and free speech cases that will be coming up in the next few years, and we get to pick between Mr. Corporate America and Mr. Nanny America.
Well, at least Ralph must be happy.
Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.
All names are fake, most places are real, the author is definitely unreliable but it's all in good fun. Yep.
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