4 August 2000
4:47 PM: I had to go back to the dentist this morning, 10:30 AM, to get my teeth cleaned. Now I know how degrouting feels from the bathroom's point of view. Though, the hygenist did use this ultrasonic pick for most of the teeth, and it's not nearly as bad as that pointed longshoreman's hook they use. What a torture implement. But there was still quite enough scraping and pulling and nearly yanking my jaw off for me, thanks.
She also had Hygenists Social Problem bigtime - always with the laying on of hands, the very sincere voice explaining the importance of flossing, the diction pitched at a 12 year old. Look, lady, I hate to break it to you, but really, I am just not going to sit with that strange cocktail fork thing and poke my gums "while I'm driving, watching TV, or sitting in front of the computer." (Hmmm, though - I bet it'd be useful on MUNI, for getting a pair of seats all to myself...)
In the world outside, nobody thinks that flossing is critical. Maybe 100 people do, and I bet you know most of them. You'd be a lot better off to acknowledge this.
The one piece of dental advice that ever stuck was when my dentist in Berkeley, from ... a long time ago, said, "Well, it's up to you, really. You can stop drinking so much soda, or you can keep making me rich. I'm thinking about adding on to the house, so that'd be fine with me."
Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.
All names are fake, most places are real, the author is definitely unreliable but it's all in good fun. Yep.
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