Not About How Fat I Am Now 18 May 1999

7:37 PM: Oh man. Free shipping at CDNOW. Big trouble.

I hate this nagging feeling of complete incompetence. Perhaps it is not the wisest choice for me to try to take on a job that depends on personal contact and cajoling. There's a word for you. "Cajole". Gesundheit.

And as for you lunatic roller-coaster lovers: crazy, you're all just crazy. It is not fun to be threatened again and again with a horrible crushing death. Fun is sending other people to a horrible crushing death. You're just not thinking this through clearly.

The old Maz's Deli up Third Street from here has finally reopened, after what seems like 5 years of remodeling. I got lunch from there 3 or 4 days out of 5 when I worked for our Estranged Sibling, which is back up the street closer to it. It was very much a trucker & cop kind of place - deli sandwiches, big greasy burgers, steak fries, served by actual humans. So that after 6 months or so you really could walk in and ask for "the usual" and it worked. A few tables to eat at, covered in ... well I don't know what it's called, really. If it was on the floor I'd say linoleum, except it's not really linoleum, it's the modern successor organism to linoleum. Anyway. Dinery stuff.

Now, though, ho ho ho! It's called "SOMAZ CAFE", and it has booths and track lighting and the guy who buses tables is wearing a white shirt and a tie for god's sakes. The sandwiches come on rosemary foccacia and the deli meats are all Boar's Head® - they have a brochure you can read while you're waiting in line, titled :

You may have wondered.

What makes Boar's Head Brand® Products better?

and it's just all oh so very fancy indeed. There went the neighborhood, I suppose.

But Maz can still spin a quarter backwards up off the counter and get it to jump into his hand. I bet the trick ketchup bottle's around somewhere too. Just don't get the garlic fries unless you like garlic very, very much.

8:24: Oooh oooh! Almost forgot! New Sissy Bar CD! Songs for Peeps!!! Out at last! Buy one now! Visit their cute website! They even put a link to WormNerd in their Links section. Awwww shucks.

Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.

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All names are fake, most places are real, the author is definitely unreliable but it's all in good fun. Yep. © 1998-1999 Lighthouse for the Deaf. All rights reserved and stuff. The motto at the top of the page is a graffito I saw on Brunswick Street in Melbourne.