3 March 1999
4:54 PM: Mmmmmmmmmsortofmmmmmmm. It's US$0.29 Hamburger Day at the McDonalds on the corner. Five of these things add up to something pretty close to food. Remember, it's quantity not quality that counts.
I spent probably three minutes in the elevator today pushing buttons and trying to figure out why the stupid doors kept opening and why it wouldn't leave the ground floor. Finally realized that it might be connected to the fact that I was pushing the button marked "1". Oh, right. Push destination, not present location. I'm alert, yep. Hello!
8:08: Dusty Springfield, is it now? And what harm was she doing anyone, I ask you? Why is Strom Thurmond still alive? Will this carnage never end?
10:13: Today's Web Discovery: Space Ghost Planet NewsNEW YORK (GPN) - A bronchial infection suffered by actress Nicole Kidman has created an opportunity to talk about her nakedness in "The Blue Room," which opened on Broadway in December. The illness has caused the last week of performances, which feature her naked, to be canceled. Also she is naked in it.More than makes up for not seeing Monica demonstrate her thong technique.
Have you noticed how much Celine Dion looks like the tall alien in Close Encounters?
Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.
All names are fake, most places are real, the author is definitely unreliable but it's all in good fun. Yep.
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The motto at the top of the page is a graffito I saw on Brunswick Street in Melbourne.