Fire Drill
17 December 1998
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Fire Drill
17 December 1998
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4:11 PM: This just in: The Fear wins again in the final innings.
We had a fire drill just now at work. And the effect of years of training in school were immediately obvious - as soon as the alarm went off and the lights started flashing, everyone laughed. That's what we'll be doing when the building crumbles on our heads. Because what do fire drills teach you? That alarms don't matter. But then, I've already gone over this.
The only person who reacted with any presence of mind was one of our designers, who ran toward the descending roll-down steel fire door and did a quick tuck&roll under it, while his friends did a lip-trumpet instrumental version of the Indiana Jones theme. Talk about seizing an opportunity.
It was a nice day, and I got to see a bunch of people I hardly ever do here. The smokers got to have a cigarette, the corner store got a nice afternoon boost. What I couldn't understand, though, is that the people from the building across the street were out on their balconies, watching us stand around on the sidewalk. What possible interest could this have been? Were they hoping to see someone burst into flames? Is this how bored we are, America?
How can you be bored, with true news like this:
Russia may ask Lewinsky for helpI think we should have a contest like the Eurovision Song Competition to settle this stuff. We'd kick ass.MOSCOW (AP) -- Russian legislators agreed Thursday to consider a motion appealing to Monica Lewinsky to help halt the American attack on Iraq.
"The State Duma appeals to Ms. Lewinsky to undertake corresponding measures to restrain the emotions of Bill Clinton," said the motion by nationalist lawmaker Alexander Filatov.
In digestion news, I feel like somebody has put a milk carton full of rocks in my stomach, like you do in the tank of a toilet to reduce the amount of water it uses. The least amount of food and I'm stuffed. Must be hair in the drain or something.
Speaking of kicking ass, tonight is My Father Is A Hero! at the UC. Tze Mui, the little kid in this, is so great. I think he and Jesse Ventura should do a movie together. Mr. Body and The Kid Go To Washington and Clean House. Kind of a Capra-meets-Woo thing, plus that Lethal Weapon buddy action. If we do it fast - we'll use Vancouver, it's cheap, we can fake the DC shit - I think there'd be a nice piece of change in a late-spring/early-summer release. What do you think? Have your people call my people. We can do business here.
Also playing is the fabulous Swordsman II, with lots of flying, boys turning into girls, and people and animals being cut in half by Sword Energy. You can have Hal Hartley.
Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.
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All names are fake, most places are real, the
author is definitely
unreliable but it's all in good fun. Yep.
© 1998-1999 Lighthouse for the Deaf. All rights reserved and stuff. The motto at the top of the page is a graffito I saw on Brunswick Street in Melbourne. | ||||
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