How Absolutely Fucking Delightful It All Is, To Be Sure 24 July 2001

4:07 PM: That was fun.

Got up this morning at 9 AM. I was lying there awake anyway, I thought I might as well go read my email at work. There was tea in the carafe already from yesterday. So I could have tea and smokes and read the morning web site and maybe get into work at something like a normal time. Or more normal at least.

Tick tock. When it got to be around 12:30 PM, and I realized that if I was going to do that getting-in-earlier thing I needed to go, like, now. And suddenly I just - froze. I panicked. I told myself, "Oh ha ha, too much caffeine!" Right. Two cups of tea with milk & sugar are making me more anxious than a double mocha does. I am thinking the No on that. I was just very simply afraid of going to work. Of going outside at all, generally, but of going to work specifically.

Which does make a few things more clear. But how come? I know I still wasn't getting anything done. That morning after reading email, I opened up the files for some code that I am supposed to be writing, but I couldn't make my brain ... It didn't want to do what it needed to do. I had to think, I had to make some decisions, and brain said No No No. Go read Yahoo News. Go see if you have email. Go play Solitaire again you almost won last time. Go do some other thing.

What is the deal, he wondered. Virus? I send you this anxiety attack in order to have your advice See you later.

But, finally, shower, pick up laundry, get paper, going to work. Ha ha ha.

First I miss Two trains. I can see them pull out, one after the other, while I am just one block too far to even think about making a try for either of them. Fine. Now I know it's going to be double the "usual" wait.

Sure enough, no train shows up for 20 minutes or more. It, of course, is Out Of Service. So they have to have 305 people come over and stand around and talk to each other for 10 or 15 minutes, take the two cars apart, and then have separate drivers drive both of them away down the tunnel. I'm sure that on Muni World this is logical.

Yet another 10, 15 minutes go by. I eat bad egg salad sangwidge from Rite-Aid because sometimes I like that stuff. Can you guess what finally shows up, boys & girls? Yes you can.

Two Trains.

The first one is extremely crowded, so I wait and get on the nearly-empty (because Muni makes the passengers stupid too, I guess; cool, I can blame them now) second car of the second train. By the time it gets to my stop, I'm the only one in the car. There is no driver in the second cars now, that's why they instituted the presumption-of-fare-payment system. I pull the STOP cord. The STOP signal goes on. We pull into the station. We keep pulling in. Finally, the train actually does stop. But! Mais oui! The doors, they will not open! What was I thinking? Get off at my stop? Ha ha ha.

I guess I should be grateful that the driver opened the doors at the next stop, since it's the very last stop on the route. I go up to complain. He says, "Get out of here. The doors were open." Oh! Of course they were open! I was walking into the floor, silly me!

Plus did I mention I got called twice on the cell phone, just as the doors were opening (or not opening) at each of the last two stops? By the same guy?

Maybe I'm psychic and I knew that Today really should have been Hide Inside Day.

6:45: Today's Lesson is Rock Star, Not Rock Star

Rock Star	Not Rock Star
Bonus! Rock Star's Devil Children!

Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.

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