wanna go HOME now...

  Bad, Bad, Bad Brain

13 July 2001

10:34 AM: Just now I'm lying there in bed quasi-asleep wondering if I'm going to wake up or not, and idly thinking about nothing in particular. Trying to remember someone's real name. And for no reason, I have this very clear image of someone driving a nail into the base of my spine.

Why does my brain do these things? What did I ever do to it? Oh, right. That. Well, yes, fine. But my gosh, let's be petty, why don't we?

6:15 PM: Oh man. Way, way, way too much smoking. I didn't even get to work today until 4:30 PM, and most of the day before that was just sitting in front of the computer, reading Web pages, puff puff. Don't know why that's affecting me so much differently Today than it would normally, it's not like it's so very unusual.

Hmmm. On the other hand, I am surrounded by people now. Where is my crutch? Where is my isolation?

6:18 PM: OK, or maybe it's related to not having had anything to eat besides a bowl of soup yesterday for the last, um, long time. I think I might have had a sandwich Monday. Or was that last week?

10:49 PM: Yes, funny thing, that. A double quarter pounder later and suddenly I'm all smart and stuff. I even remember why I have this job. Of course, having to work in Perl helps. I just want to code, is that so -- oh no. Nuh uh, not gonna do that again. Don't ask, don't tell.

Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.

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