Life's Little Ironies
10 April 2001
7:54 PM: So, weeks ago, I make an appointment with a doctor to get my left ear cleaned out, thinking I just had some kind of big plug of wax in it. And it turns out, no, no wax, but some kind of infestation in my head is causing it. So I get the capsules and the big yellow pills and the little free sample pills, and follow a complex regimen of pilltaking for the next two weeks. All of which seems to do very little - except now my right ear is the one that feels plugged up.
I wait a little while to see if it just goes away on its own, but nope. Oh, and this whole time, work goes nuclear, and I end up working at home more often than not. Initially because I was working round the clock to try to meet a deadline that turned out to be moot. Then, so I could be online and available to people working on the east coast. By now, it's just because I like not having to go outside. But the bad side effect of working at home is just that, I never go outside. Stale air, smoking too much. So, sure I feel a little punk most of the time. But I figure I'm just being unusually unhealthy. Which is probably true.
But in any case, a couple weeks pass, I still can't hear out of my right ear. So I make another doctor's appointment, to get more antibiotics, or some kind of stronger decongestant or expectorant or other kind of magic ant to eat the little green meanies in my head. And what does the doctor find is the problem?
My ear is plugged up with wax, of course.
Which I get blown out in a disgusting little procedure that's best left undescribed. He thinks he sees maybe a little infection left pressing on the eardrum, so some more free samples of anti-allergy medication and on my way. My way gets me about as far as the coffee shop. A bit of rest there and off I go!
Straight home. More dazed than ever. I log on, and do try to get some work done. But it's rapidly clear that now, now, I really am actually sick. I slept about 14 hours last night, about 6 so far Today, and still even just standing up feels like a day's work. And, naturally, both of my ears are plugged. Of course this is the week not only that really no shit for sure this time we are going to go live with this godforsaken project - my usual Monthly Chore was due too. Today. Ah well. If I could concentrate long enough, I'm sure I'd feel terrible about it. But now, I'm afraid, it's time to go fall down again.
Very very soon now I'm going to spend a lot of money and go somewhere far far away. Somewhere sunny, with table service on a beach. And I'm going to just lie there. For a year or three. Ow.
Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.
All names are fake, most places are real, the author is definitely unreliable but it's all in good fun. Yep.
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