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SATAN DRIVES TO WORK

 
  Oooze

13 December 2000


6:31 PM: Why are you smiling????? You psycho fuck, Gore! They reamed you! They knocked you down and tore you two new assholes, and you're laughing!! Jesus Krispy Kremes, Saul's right, he want wacko over in Nam...


6:32 PM: He's just giving a campaign speech. Mr Creepo Roboto. God maybe we dodged a bullet here. On the other hand, Bush hasn't come up yet...


6:35 PM: And STOP SMACKING!!!


6:36 PM: Hah! Chris Matthews is weepy! What a gnute.


7:31 PM: So I'm watching the start of the Bush thing on the little MSNBC live video window, and the oversqueal of the applause makes it sound like there are little squirrels singing in the background... Ooh, little alien squirrels, and they like Laura Bush a lot. Dick Cheney they're not so excited about.

You know, I'm beginning to think that Bush really, truly believes that Washington will be just like Texas; that he can talk to Democrats in the US House just like he could in the Texas House. Poor chump. He hasn't got a clue what's waiting for him. Democrats in Texas are Republicans. Even more so.


8:48 PM: As a completely accurate summary of my last month, I submit for your consideration Lynda Barry.

So last night after all of that, I couldn't stay anymore, I certainly couldn't work, and it was too early to go to the bar. So I went to see Charlie's Angels. Unfortunately, it wasn't very good. Some of that is about the assholes behind me, and their lovely booted feet up on the backs of the chairs to my right, which I kept smelling and seeing out of the corner of my eye -

And let me break here, to say to those of you that I know, and you all know who you are:

Get your fucking feet off the seats, OK? Would you want to put your head where somebody's muddy dogshit-stained foot had been? Only a couple of you are normally such assholes in other arenas of life. So what gives here? Why do you think this is OK? It's not. Have some god damned consideration. It's not "cool", it's not "free-spirited", it's just rude. Knock it off. Thank you.

Anyway. So, stinky feet don't help a film. But the film didn't help itself much either, much like a certain Presi-- no! no! must not think! Movie! Movie OK. Better. Movie. Dumb. Kind of fun, cute girls, but... Cameron Diaz, she can be funny, but hey! you're really cheerful! I got that after a while. Lucy Liu is nowhere near as all that as she thinks she is. Drew Barrymore is of course Queen of my Heart, but she insists on dragging around that goateed boat anchor (goat anchor?), Tom Green, another memember of the Assassinations That Would Not Upset Me Club. Crispin Glover, ooooh he's really weeeeirrrrddd. And hey! Race cars! Sky diving! Neet! Feh. It was just dumb. So that was annoying.


Today, though, my new DVD player came today! And the Buffy DVD collection of the entire first season! V. exciting. Even with having to recable the whole front room.

Hey. This whole apartment is mine to do with as I will. The trees are gone. Why do I care about the front room anymore? I could get blackout blinds and set up shop out there. Hmm...





Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.

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