Compensation Is Fun 24 March 2000

6:32 PM: It's so weird when two days' entries start at almost the same time.

6:40: There, that's better.

Oy. Well, let's see. I ended up staying up all night Wednesday night, until about 9:30 AM Thursday morning, waiting for the stupid database stuff to finish and the site to come back to normal. Then I passed out. I woke up around 3:30 PM, and thought, why should I go in to work when I'm going to leave at 6 to go see Yojimbo and Sanjuro at the UC tonight? I'll just stay here. Right.

Thing was, my intention was to go with Penny to see these, since she never has. And as it got to be about time to go, I realized that she wouldn't know I wasn't at work, so she wouldn't call me at home. I also happened to know that she had left her pager at home "by accident" (after this week I understand perfectly), so I couldn't page her. And I'm sure she doesn't know my pager number so she couldn't page me. So what do I do? More Fun Waiting!, that's what. Checking my voice mail at work every 10 minutes. Logging into work to check email and logging back out again because I only have the one phone line. This sort of thing went on until it was too late to matter because it was too late to make the movies anyway. La.

When I finally did hear from her, it turned out her class thingy had run until after 7 PM anyways, unexpectedly, so all that worrying was moot, and I could have gone into work anyway. Or just gone to the movies myself. Or just forgotten about the whole thing and gone and shot up or something. Blah. My brain she spin me right round baby right round.

The cherry on top - I called in to find out about my last day of eligibility for jury doody and yep, I had to go in.

Jury duty turned out to be pretty damned easy, though. We waited about 20 minutes tops in the big assembly room, then got called into a courtroom. The clerk, a very self-parodying woman with a bad wig and an overbite, called roll and completely mangled my name - why? it's not like it's not pronounced something like it's spelled, and what she said wasn't even close to the sounds that the letters in front of her make, even if she'd been dyslexic. Then she administered some kind of oath that nobody could hear, which probably registered us all for AOL. We waited another 10 minutes, and the judge came in and said, good news! the parties had settled (i.e. someone copped a plea) and no trial would be necessary. Hence no jury - but since we'd been called in for jury selection, that counted, and we were all done for the year. Even including the bus ride from the Hall of (in)Justice, the whole thing didn't take more than an hour.

The other exciting thing I did today was buy a computer. Yes! For lots of money! On impulse! Because I can buaahahaha, here's a nickel for you, poor fellow!

Well hey, what can I say, it was lust at first sight. I had been looking at some HP systems that came with CD read/write drivers built-in, but also thinking I should just go down to Circuit City or something so I could get the whole monitor/printer/scanner dealie. And here it all was, both at once, with a DVD drive to boot, and a $580 rebate that didn't require me to sign up with CompuServe or the Army or anything! What's not to like?

Bye money!

8:04: Why American Beauty Should Win For Best Picture Dept.:

Sex/Homosexuality (S):

• teen in underwear
• adult masturbation in shower with nudity and talk about it
• homosexual presence
• Internet nudity
• adult in underwear
• teen sexually teasing married man
• sensual dance by teen for a married man
• self-touching to entice a married man
• peodphilial desires - adult to teen
• attempts to gain sex with a teen by a married man (throughout)
• sexual innuendo, comments, insults, and references to human sexual anatomy
• man in bed with a woman
• masked nudity, full upper female nudity, full male rear nudity, and nudity with only rose petals hiding private parts
• teen girl strip tease dance to arouse married man
• vulgar sex conversations between teen girls
• teen girl in towel only
• admission of and pride in immoral (teen) sexual relationships and use of sex to manipulate
• adult male masturbation (from rear)
• discussion of masturbation after the fact
• sexual intercourse with motions and sounds and major skin exposure in adultery
• aftermath of sexual intercourse - man and woman in bed partially covered
• teen girl stripping in front of bedroom window for taping by teen boy neighbor
• teen girl in a teen boy's bedroom, her in underwear in his bed and him nude standing
• homosexual kiss
• inappropriate touch - married man with teen girl
• married man necking with a teen girl
• teen girl using upper nudity to seduce a married man
• teen boy and girl in bed together
• teen girl in bathtub with water covered with rose petals and married man reaching under the petals

Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.

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All names are fake, most places are real, the author is definitely unreliable but it's all in good fun. Yep. © 1998-1999 Lighthouse for the Deaf. All rights reserved and stuff. The motto at the top of the page is a graffito I saw on Brunswick Street in Melbourne.