Dumb Glass
25 August 1999
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Dumb Glass
25 August 1999
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8:27 PM: Having just the most marvelous string of luck with this bicycle. First the axle housing disintegrates, now I get a flat tire, halfway to work and not a gas station or bicycle pump in sight. It's amazing how much farther it is walking. I think the last time I patched a bike tube was 1973. How am I even supposed to find the leak without a hose, swimming pool, or bathtub? You know. To put it underwater and look for bubbles. Well that's what we used to do. What do I know, this is my point.
Did you know that you could arrange for your mail delivery to be paused over the phone? I was just trying to find out where my local hellpit, er, post office was. When the lady at the 800 number said, "Oh I can do that for you now" I almost said "Oh you can not, stop teasing me." First countries using computerized visas, now the Post Office being solicitous and helpful?
Heh. I got a free Blair Witch tattoo with the soundtrack CD! Whoohoo! Where shall I put it? Perhaps in a drawer would be best.
It's awfully early but I dunno, everything seems to be done. Oh, except for that four days worth of work that will be due two days after I get back. That can wait, after all.
9:57: Well. That was interesting. I seem to have a working rear tire again. I apparently bought The Most Complicated Bicycle Pump In The World. It comes apart into 17,305 pieces, each one of which is a unique and valuable tool! Some of them even involved putting air into the tube. They might not have intended to be used that way, but I hacked it. I see no reason to start knowing what I'm doing now. There was even a patch inside.
The easiest part, surprisingly, was finding the leak. I just started pumping up the tube, once I had extracted it from its outdated paradigm, and suddenly someone is blowing air in my eye. Maybe I was thinking of those giant tractor-tire inner tubes that we used to ride down rivers and Doughoy pools in. Party Prepositions are all out tonight, uh huh! Uh huh!
I also found two donuts that I bought earlier today and forgot about. Still don't know why my brake is mooshy. Red Sox still tied for wild card. It's a mixed bag.
Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.
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All names are fake, most places are real, the
author is definitely
unreliable but it's all in good fun. Yep.
© 1998-1999 Lighthouse for the Deaf. All rights reserved and stuff. The motto at the top of the page is a graffito I saw on Brunswick Street in Melbourne. | ||||
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