A Brief Burst of California 19 April 1999

4:15 AM: Wow, it's later than I thought. There's an epitaph, all right. Kudos for Snack! today. No, literally, that's what they're called. Not that I don't mean thanks and three cheers and all that rot too. A "granola" bar with M&Ms in it. Now that's what I call health food.

Speaking of formulaic entries, my office crush is looking awfully cute today. It's all this sunlight lately, you see, driven the temperature inside up something awful. Everyone looks flushed and languid, and dress has gotten considerably more casual. Come to think of it, lots of people around here look awfully cute today. I'm just a boy who can't say no. Not that anyone's asking.

6:27: Shoot. Forgot what I was going to say.

8:21: So I saw Analyze This yesterday, and was reminded once again that I really have two choices: see films immediately, or stop reading film reviews altogether. Especially for comedies, it just flattens it out when you already know what's going to happen and all the best lines. It was still funny, but not tremendously so. Maybe that's what I would have thought anyway, I don't know.

La la la. Kind of old home week around here lately. People in town who've moved away and been gone a couple years. "So, you guys still hang out here, then?" "Well if by 'you guys' you mean me, yeah, pretty much." I don't remember wanting to grow up to be a barfly, but then, I don't remember having the opportunity either. All that fireman and policeman propaganda.

Mary was telling me last week about how a few years ago, her astrologer told her that her house had come full circle or some such astrological hoohah, but in any case completing some cycle that had taken 30 or so years, and was now starting again. So to figure out what she ought to be doing now, she should look to what made her happy when she was 8 or 9 years old. She thought about it, and realized/remembered that it was being with animals that she liked best. She started devoting more time to that, volunteering at an animal repair shelter and other things (I know they don't call it that but I forget the official name and that's essentially what it is). And whaddya know, it worked. She loves it.

So she suggested that maybe I should think about that myself. What did I like to do when I was 8 or 9?

First real answer is, "I have no idea," of course, since I can barely remember anything that long ago. Bad brain, don't y'know. 8 or 9 is, what, 4th grade? I can remember that in 4th grade I had a polite dispute with my teacher about whether I was an introvert or an extrovert. She only saw me in class and thought I was extroverted. I saw me from inside and had quite the opposite opinion. I got beat up a lot. I had just transferred from a Catholic school to a public school, and that was the trauma source you'd expect, on a clothing level alone. I always wore uniforms before, who knew we were hicks?

All I can really remember enjoying is reading, sleeping, and wandering around the back yard telling stories to myself out loud. No beer in grade school, of course, but I was a soda fiend, so that's on track. I still eat pretty much the same foods, too.

So I guess I haven't done too bad a job at finding my priorities. On the other hand, none of that stuff made me happy, really. They were just ... better than the alternatives.

Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.

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