wanna go HOME now...

  Still Cranky

17 March 1999

8:04 PM: Damn, did it again. Finished everything I need to do today already, and it's only been 4 hours or so. There's probably something else but I've forgotten what it is.

I was arguing about this, in an oblique way, with someone the other night, over whether airplanes or trains were riskier. They were pointing to the statistics we've heard before, that air travel is much safer in terms of accidents per passenger-mile, but what does that mean? More people travel farther on airplanes without getting hurt than on trains, but more people travel on airplanes period. Vastly more.

My point was, when there is an accident, on a plane everybody dies, pretty much. On a train, you've got a much better chance. And there will be an accident. Here's the oblique back-connection. If I can't think of anything I'm supposed to be doing at the moment, that doesn't mean that there isn't anything to be done; on the contrary, it guarantees that there is something to be done, only that I can't think of what it is. If I am on a giant unnatural metal conveyance and it can crash, it will crash. Even if it didn't last time. Probably will. It might not, I accept that. But probably.

Hmmm. This doesn't bode well for a 14+ hour flight to Australia, does it? But then, hey, I smoke, obviously I don't care that much anyway.

Some people really honestly believe that things generally go well in their life. I guess they think people are inherently good, and that the universe will give them what they need if they're just patient. Amazing. Unimaginable, literally. I hear it, you know, but I don't see it. Obviously "How?" and "Why?" are not questions anyone can answer, but still... I don't get it.

I wonder if they find a rational, logical outlook like my own equally unimaginable. I've never noticed that, though. Optimists usually think they know all there is to know about pessimists. "Dude, if you would just lighten up, man! Be ready! Put some passion in your life! Get out into the swing of things!" There is a lot of free-floating metaphor and inappropriate imagery in this kind of talk. It means absolutely nothing, so far as I've been able to determine.

Temperaments can't be argued. Only endured. If you want to be truly obtuse and insulting, tell me I've chosen mine on purpose.

More reasons why I worry about you kids Dept.:

fuck my coworkers
super karate monkey death car
"Shit from woman"
"the memory hole"
Ways to piss off cops

Saint Patrick's Day out there tonight. So this might be it.

Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.

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