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  Bogus Explanations

1 March 1999

8:13 PM: Welcome to March. Have you gotten your Federal tax forms yet? I don't know if I have or not. I might have a long time ago - I know I got my California forms back in December or some other distant era. So are they just late, or did I lose them? No one seems to carry blank forms anymore. I know you can download them as PDF files, but I don't trust those forms. I'll get them back in 10 years saying, "VIOLATION #10FCCC99-34-A-4: Fake forms. Interest owed: $109,000.02"

I finally watched the 22 hours of X-Files that I taped just before the Amazing Revealing Two-Part Episode That Will Answer A Lot If Not All Questions that was on ... two weeks ago? This was the "Complete Conspiracy" series of repeats on the FX cable network.

Let me pause here to say how deeply, deeply stupid the FX web site is. I tried to get into it to see what the episode order was, since I'm not familiar enough with the shows to know by sight. (Duh. If I was, why would I be watching them?) One could bring up their front page. There, one got four imagemap links: A Flash and non-Flash version of the fxnetworks.com site, and a Flash and non-Flash version of the FX Movies site. All four of these links wound their way through some no-doubt clever and well-designed Microsoft ASP code and wound up -

Right back at the front door of the whole site. You could not get to any other destination. Well, maybe you could. I couldn't. Because I was using Netscape 3 on an old Macintosh, so fuck me, right? I hate these people.

Anyways, watching videos, yes. Lots of them. In a row. Very strange to be watching X-Files if you're a smoker. Everytime someone talked about Cancer Man, there's that moment of "Hey, that's me!" It was like, participatory and stuff. Cool. I think I went through about three packs in the course of the night. Does he only smoke the first half-inch or something? It was looking like that at times. I think he just does it to be annoying.

What did I think? Oh they were good, fine, you know, TV. Nothing as startling as that second season of Buffy. Do they listen to those voiceovers and honestly think, "Wow, this is really powerful" ??? Because they always sound terribly dull to me. The writing, she could be better you know.

I will always admire the five-minute deconstruction of American postwar history delivered while Mulder and the DOD mole are walking around through the Pentagon, though. I think that really needs to be shown to high school classes. Nothing really fixed the Great Depression until WWII came along. War's over, well heck, let's just keep pretending for a while. It's good for business. It goes in there, and it comes out here....

Snack! today was animal crackers, but strange ones, somehow. I couldn't find anything except sheep, rams?, and something that was maybe a buffalo. Where are the monkeys? Where are the lions? Where are the songs of my yesterdays?

Did not get the new Turtledove book, by the way. Never made it up to Borders and my local independent bookstore wasn't carrying it yet. I might just have hallucinated the whole thing, that'll happen.

Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.

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