Back From The Less-Alive 19 January 1999

4:38 PM: Ow. This is the problem with three-day weekends, I get too enthusiastically nocturnal. That plus the usual poor urge control. I started re-reading the Cyteen trilogy by C.J.Cherryh last night at about ... well, at about early this morning, really, and got a bad case of the what-next?s. Closed the cover on the second book today at about 1 PM and thought, "Oh. Work."

Ow. "This periodic restful activity typically brings a sense of restoration and health."

Super State of the Union in an hour and change! Woo! Feel the excitement in the air here today, Dave. I wonder if today's Snack! of mixed nuts is a comment. Could be about us, too, though, we're a sullen bunch.

6ish: Live notes!

• Pointing the camera at Senator Moynihan when he said "the aging of America" wasn't very nice.
• Strom Thurmond is a tortoise. He's just painted his shell to look like a suit.
• They ALL like the bit about eliminating earning limits. Plan ahead!
• My god, this isn't Congress, it's an AARP meeting!
• Oooh! Oooh! He said "New Economy"! Plug! I wonder if we had to pay for that.
• mmmmmmmmmmmm, discipline......
• That's it, Christians, gotta applaud for mommies. He got ya.
• "That's why I want to distribute over 10,000 free samples of dental floss to families all across America!" (applause)
• Why do the words "patient" and "bill" in the same sentence make me nervous?
• "Thank you, Tipper, for leading the efforts to promote mental illness in this country. Er..."
• grumble grumble demagogue grumble bullshit ignoring demographics grumble grumble smokers save money we die younger, duh grumble puff
• Adult literacy? Haven't the TV networks suffered enough?
• "...building a bridge from Wall Street to Appalachia, to the Mississippi Delta, to our Native American communities ..." That's a hell of a big bridge.
• Cool! We're our own Third World now. What a country.
• on RealAudio, this applause sounds way too much like 70s guitar effects
• I can't believe he mentioned Y2K. What's next, Teletubbies? Oh, but it was cute, I admit.
• This Just In: Clinton Calls For Smiley Face On Globe
• Um, hi, global cooperation, very nice - we gonna pay our UN bill now?
• Iraq? Fuck Iraq, when do I get a government I deserve? Oh, you be quiet.
• Suddenly I feel like I'm watching "Reagan II"... (Suddenly?)
• OK, so at least he mentioned the UN bill. 2 points.
• Can I still do drugs inside of bars or do I have to go behind them now? I wish they would stop thinking of things to do.
• "This speech paid for by Rich Citizens for Gore."
• Rosa Parks! That's so cool! I had no idea she was even alive still. Man, Sammy Sosa, Rosa Parks, he's not taking any chances, is he? Get out of those seats! Applaud! Applaud me! Buahahahaha!
• Oh man, first Moynihan as Symbolic Old Guy, now Barney Frank as Symbolic Homosexual. How sofistikated.
• Pah. I like that. Gingrich's former aide or whatever, the designated troglodyte on CNN: "Remember, the man is an admitted liar, and that's going to have an effect on how he can work with Congress." Yeah, it should give them some common ground, hmm?

Uh oh, Republican response!

• I see the Smutublicans went to the same school of Easy Symbolism as the networks. And now, in response, our token Blonde Chick/Soccer Mom and our token Conservative Football Guy.
• Nice hand moves, babe. Jeez. She looks like she's making some kind of half-assed karate moves.
• Heh. "Expect ACTION!" (cue theme music)
• We must cut these unfair death taxes that unfairly whittle away at Muffin's trust fund...
• Enough! Enough! We know what century it is! Stop!!!!!
• Excellent, it's Troy McClure! "You might remember me from such films as "Congressmen From Another World" and "DeathPAC!" An infomercial, now this is a sensible way to do this.
• "Well, if you're a pot-smoking commie agnostic bastard, 'individual liberty' is another way of saying 'prison'."
• Um, no, actually, I think most Americans have seen "Deep Impact" and know we can't do shit about that stuff.
• Wow. Partial-birth abortion right in there, in the Smutublican response. Guess they figure they've lost the sane vote anyway.
• They're "steeked"? Does that hurt?
• Oh don't you dare mention Dr. King, you go wash your mouth out right now, you blood-sucking reptile.
• I packed up my famee in the sog and we gove to Dramma's blouse, we did. This guy is standing against drugs? He's standing through drugs.
• Hey, dude, I have Jesus on line 2 - he says, "Piss off, buttbird."

Er, not that I'm partisan or anything. I could be, but it would be wrong.

9:24: A tangential note: Boomers around the world, we have heard your Sea Monkey story already. On the day that you had your first kiss, bought your first car, when your parent[s] died and your first child was born, your long-awaited package of Sea Monkeys came in the mail, and they turned out to be just brine shrimp and you were all disappointed and stuff. I know. You know. My neighbor's dog knows. Think of something else. Mmmmkay? Thanks.

And hey, you, kettle! Lookin pretty black today!

Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.

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