Feel The Love 11 January 1999

4:36 PM: Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump.

Pretty fuckin musical, huh? Jesus. Shoot me.

6:18: Still thumping. I don't think anyone else here really wants to listen to this, but we're all afraid to change it. Because if we do, the hardcore buttheads just turn up the speakers on their computers whether anything else is playing or not. The Third Grade Never Ended.

Not that that doesn't have its good points, like Oreos and Fig Newtons for Snack! today.

7:43: I think I owe Music Boulevard, at least, a formal apology, after ripping on them for their defective CDs and annoying return policies a while ago. I sent some email to their customer service department explaining the problem, and happened to mention Mutations as one of the CDs that was screwed-up. They sent back the expected reply, more or less just what it says on the site. Shrug, right?

But - they did a little bit more than that. Because I just got a brand new copy of Mutations, completely unasked for, and free. I'm amazed. So, OK, 800.Com, it's your turn. Pony up.

8:34: I keep hoping that real soon now I'll think of something interesting to say, but it doesn't seem to be happening. I've been somewhat confused all day. Probably because I was up until 6:30 reading Shardik, or maybe re-reading it. That book was always my personal examplar of Obligatory But Impossible Reads. What could be so different about it, compared to Lord of the Rings, say? But still. I'd start it, fall asleep, put it aside, months would pass and it'd just go back on the shelf.

Now that I'm on such a tear, though, I figured I could finally get over whatever speed bump was blocking my way into it. Only to find that the further I read, the more familiar it all seemed. I think that in fact, I have read it - and then totally forgot having done so. Aliens Stole My Syllabus! Strange.

This book I picked up at Green Apple, Philosophy in the Flesh, is about the latest findings from experimental cognitive research, and their implications for philosophy. They get quite exercised about the evidence that 95% of cognitive activity is completely unconscious - not repressed or ignored, but inaccessible by one's conscious mind. I keep reading it thinking, "This is news? Who do these people hang out with?"

Um.

From the New York Times, January 11 1999:
Subway Killing Puts Harsh Light on the Suspect's Mental Torment
By N.R. KLEINFIELD with KIT R. ROANE

NEW YORK -- As far back as when he was 16 and first had an inkling that something was wrong with him, his life appeared to turn inward and downward. Until the police took him away, he lived in a basement shoebox of a room in Queens. He watched "The Simpsons" and listened to Pink Floyd and ceaselessly paced the linoleum floor.

He would prattle on about becoming a business executive, though he never progressed beyond landing a job at a Dunkin' Donuts that lasted one day. He yearned to have an adoring wife and family, but he had no real friends. Adrift in his thoughts, he would wander through a graveyard and circle the streets of Queens in the dim hours before dawn. Acquaintances said he could not seem to grasp a future because he barely had a present.

And I look so bad under harsh light, too. Just doesn't fit my coloring.

Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.

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