Feh
29 September 1998
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Feh
29 September 1998
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Aaaaagh, fuck, I hate falling asleep at work. You know, if I make an offer to someone, and they never say Yes, and they never say No, and it just kinda drags on like a lawsuit, are they expecting me to react in some way? Is that the deal? "God, why won't he get the hint??!" I've heard girls say that. Soooo scary to myself, being the clueless alien being that I am.
Maybe if I got some cards printed up like those ones with the ASL alphabet that deaf spare-changers hand out. "Hello I Do Not Speak Hint. Can You Help Me? God Bless."
Well, to hell with it all, I say. Hard cheese! Speak up or forever hold your water! I've had it up to here with your tomfoolery.
It's my understanding that today, or yesterday maybe, is a Day of Atonement. I think that's such a good idea, it ought to be more universally practiced. And what more perfect holiday for the work environment. "I know I am a greed-sodden minion of Satan, and honestly, I'm really sorry."
Red Sox, 11 to 3, oh yeah. I noticed that the weather here has turned remarkably crappy in the last few days. This is supposed to be Indian Summer, not Portland Whenever. All the signs are adding up. It's only my diligent inability to get a date that is holding off the Final Judgement. No, no, don't thank me, I'm only doing my part.
8:45 PM: You didn't think I was writing this in one single coherent sitting, did you? Well, or even one sitting. Nuh uh. Working. Back soon. Kisses.
9:53 PM: Psych! This dumb script actually works. God, I hope I don't have to understand it tomorrow. Wish they had cranial-port Zip drives or something. I just go into Perl trance and write these things. If I ever have to fix them, I more or less have to rewrite them just to figure out what's going on. Sort of like navigating with a bulldozer. Where does the map say the road is? Oh fuck it, the road is this way. Brrrrrrrrmmmmmmm.......
Anyways, that's running over there so here I am over here. I don't think this donut is going to get eaten. So sad. I probably should save it as a personal defense weapon. Aieee! Old-fashioned! Double bill at the sleazy downtown theater of Blade and Knock Off, it's calling to me. I know they are not great films, but if they were in Chinese I bet they'd be a lot more funny. That's what Van Damme You All To Hell should do! Dub his films. "Well no, I'm not French, I'm actually Belgian you know, yes, it's very different, hmmm." "Ohhh!" "Yes, mmmm."
On the other hand, this Blow Pop is still sitting here. Bring it to the bar. Candy, little girl? Ha. I only wish I was evil, really. Wrong temperament for it. It's not that I care about people, I think that's clear by now, but I can't help but notice them. To be evil, I think you have to either crave suffering or not really believe in the existence of others. I could work on the craving. Mmmmm, hangnails.
Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.
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All names are fake, most places are real, the
author is definitely
unreliable but it's all in good fun. Yep.
© 1998-1999 Lighthouse for the Deaf. All rights reserved and stuff. The motto at the top of the page is a graffito I saw on Brunswick Street in Melbourne. | ||||
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