The Rest's In Pieces

SATAN DRIVES TO WORK












	The Rest's In Pieces 14 August 1998

1:34 PM: Do I want a burrito or a sandwich for lunch? If I eat, I will pass out. If I don't eat, I will either pass out or kill someone, or I suppose both in either sequence. Or, possibly, just keep writing runon (run-on?) sentences like this one until something distracts me and I

2:54:
Aug 14 06:59:24 sendmail[10306]: GAA10306: SYSERR(UID0): Can't create transcript file xfGAA10306: File table overflow
Aug 14 06:59:24 sendmail[10306]: GAA10306: SYSERR(UID0): Can't open /dev/null: File table overflow
Aug 14 06:59:24 sendmail[10307]: NOQUEUE: SYSERR(UID0): db_map_open: cannot pre-open database /etc/aliases.db: File table overflow
Aug 14 06:59:24 sendmail[10311]: NOQUEUE: SYSERR(UID0): db_map_open: cannot pre-open database /etc/aliases.db: File table overflow
Aug 14 06:59:25 sendmail[10308]: NOQUEUE: SYSERR(UID0): db_map_open: cannot pre-open database /etc/aliases.db: File table overflow
Aug 14 06:59:24 sendmail[10310]: NOQUEUE: SYSERR(UID0): db_map_open: cannot pre-open database /etc/aliases.db: File table overflow
Aug 14 06:59:25 sendmail[10309]: NOQUEUE: SYSERR(UID0): db_map_open: cannot pre-open database /etc/aliases.db: File table overflow
Etc. Grr. Thank you.

3:48: Victories I never imagined:
Subject:GAIN THE UPPER HAND ON NUMBERS
Dramatically increase your calculating speed. Impress your friends amd associates with your new found skills.
the only maths tidtbit newsletter on the entire NET that can change your life
The Tables Will Be Turned - YOU Will Have Numbers Dancing To YOUR TUNE....
Sandwich, by the way. Roast beef, Bacon, Avogadro's Numeric Dressing. It's a Mole-ful! It looks like I get to go on vacation next week after all. Can I truly make myself do it? Oh I think so. But, ha ha! I laugh now. And well I may. But we'll see who's reading whose email and just "keeping in touch" with "a couple of things"...
Too many scary things in this life. Today's Scary: the Metro train driver (again). We are, as seems too usual, halted at the station, waiting for the next train to get out of the way. I am at the front of the car. I hear the driver talking into his radio/phone/magicbox, trying to be sneaky:
~how do i open the doors?~
~Say again, driver, I can't hear you.~
~how do i get the doors open, i can't open the doors~
~Driver, you've got your doors manually closed, what's the problem?~
~shh, shh, they're all mad at being stuck in the tunnel~

4:40: The tension mounts.
Psychic Snark: so after that smartass remark last night, what should be on the receptionist's desk this morning but a big shiny new blue iMac! And I admit, it's ultra nifty. I'd have to clean up my apartment just to even think about owning one. I think, though, they missed a trick by not having it light up inside. Or maybe it does and we're all just dumb here, that's happened before.
So come on, Apple, don't screw up, don't only build 25 of them and then have to put everyone on backlist while you sit in your offices and shrug, saying, "Who knew?" As a friend of mine says, "I want an ergonomic keyboard and a QuickCam eye at the top of a 17" monitor screen on my new iApple. I hope they release these inevitable improvements soon in a model dubbed the 'MacDaddy.'"

5:29: I forget.
Oh. I remember. Someone was playing Coconut here. Poor Harry Nilsson. So many people I would trade to have him around, if I could do that sort of thing. Which would be an interesting position to be in, yes. Many discreet notes. "Dear Sen. Helms: So, what will you do for ME?" *

6:24: To paraphrase:
Me: "Hahahaha! Hey, look at this funny thing!"
Coworkers: "Oh. Is that yours?"
Me: "No! A friend of mine sent it to me because it's so funny!"
Coworkers: "Oh."
Me: (slink off...)
Someone told me again today that I look like Lance Henriksen. I don't. Well, not beyond having the same number of arms and legs and all that. I can't figure this out. Except, maybe, we're both running out of hair. I should have my new digital camera! on Monday and I'll prove it.
6:31: OK, OK, OK!! Yah baby, I am so gone I'm already back, I am outta here! And may I say sincerely, fuck this early riser crap. Thank you. It's been a simulating experience.

*Dear FBI: this is known as "a joke." Do not arrest me. Thank you.

Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.












yestoday		today		tomorrowday

	archive		semi-bio

listen!		random		privit







previous back two list all random open pages webring next five ahead two next

prev skip prev random archipelago list sites skip next next





All names are fake, most places are real, the author is definitely unreliable but it's all in good fun. Yep. © 1998-1999 Lighthouse for the Deaf. All rights reserved and stuff. The motto at the top of the page is a graffito I saw on Brunswick Street in Melbourne.