Fooey! 8 August 1998

Apologies for the absence, Potatoe.Com has been off the air due to too many jam-coated fingers getting into places they don't belong. I can't have anything nice around this Internet.

This month's archive pin-up is Sissy Bar, whose CD Statutory Grape is another one of those that I am REALLY PISSED OFF ABOUT HAVING HAD STOLEN, but that's not my point here. I'm also waiting and waiting for them to do a new CD, but that's not really the point either. The point is that they're exactly the band I ought to listen to when I am in moods like this, because it's kind of hard to sing along with songs about magic bunnies and still be growly. It doesn't stop you from being bitter, let's be real, but you do move into that humorous state where everyone else, at least, can enjoy your bad mood.

I also happen to kind of know one of the people in the band, which you might be able to tell if you go look at it. After I put up the August index and the photo-link, I sent her email saying "You're there, you're there!" She sent the URL around to the other people in the band. Perhaps without looking at it first. I find a message on my phone later that night. "Great. Now the rest of the band thinks I have a stalker."

Heh.

New Shoes! Whee. Oh, they're OK, they feel fine at least, but bleah. Still ugly. At least not purple. My arches felt extremely confused. "What is this thing under us? It's some kind of trick, isn't it?" Tricky part about these, the hooks at the top for lacing them up. On each side, there are two in a horizontal row, and then a third larger hook behind and below them. You can imagine combinations of any two of these, but all three? Topologically complex.

I asked a clerk if he knew how they were supposed to work. He clearly didn't, and that would have been fine. C'mon, act like we're both not stupid, just tell me: "Jeez, I don't know. Maybe like this?" But no. He starts lacing them up one way, which obviously didn't work, and then another way, lather rinse repeat, and the whole time telling me "See, you can do it like this, this is so it will wrap around your ankle to give you better support - oh - well, then you can do it like this, this seals the rain out - oh - this isn't right, it's not supposed to have this third hook back here."

I wanted to tell him about the great future ahead of him in software marketing, but I don't think he would have taken it the right way.

Today, walking down here to w**k to reboot this friggin computer: There were signs taped to the sidewalks around Ninth Street, at the corners near the wheelchair ramps.

FERNANDO LOPEZ:
CALL YOUR LAWYER!!!
YOU CAN WIN YOUR CASE
IF YOU WILL JUST *SHOW UP* !!!

And isn't there a message in there for all of us?

Willfully blind self-indulgent nebbish or amusingly quirky old coot? And how bout that local sports team? Discuss among yourselves.

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All names are fake, most places are real, the author is definitely unreliable but it's all in good fun. Yep. © 1998-1999 Lighthouse for the Deaf. All rights reserved and stuff. The motto at the top of the page is a graffito I saw on Brunswick Street in Melbourne.