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JC Watch by Ramathorne on 2004-07-11 03:04:34
Brief intro - I work in an IT based office full of relatively dull 30 – 50 year olds. However, there’s this one Irish chap called John Cahoon whose a little weird, in that he has no concept of society and a failing grasp on reality. The poor bloke has spent many years working shifts, and has steadily become more and more distant from ‘normality’, much to the amusement (and frequent annoyance) of his colleagues. There’s been a lot of ‘what if’ talk recently about John joining the Big Brother house, and the likely survival rate of the remaining housemates. So, what I’m proposing to do is bring you the next best thing, “JC Watch”. Whenever I experience any further evidence of John taking one step closer to the proverbial loony bin, I’ll post an entry here.
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| Re: JC Watch
by Ramathorne
on 2004-07-11 03:14:31
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Recent incident number 1 - JC coming into work for 4 hours on a Sunday at the fear that he wasn't working efficiently enough. JC's proposed solution - a double moused PC. The intention being to be able to use your left mouse to highlight certain processes as they appear at the bottom of a internet browser window. Why simply 'clicking' on the URL is inefficient, only JC's unique mind can explain… and explain he will. One thing I forgot to mention is that JC talks... a lot. He's the kind of guy you have to simply walk away from to end a conversation/monologue (sounds harsh, as I 1st thought, but is the only option available). I have personal experience (as have many others) of listening to JC talk to me for 30 minutes + without breath, taking a 15 minutes phone call (whilst JC speaks on), and having JC continue to talk to me afterwards. Amazing it truly is.
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| Re: JC Watch
by Ramathorne
on 2004-07-11 03:19:21
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Recent incident number 2 - Ever spent a lot of time at a computer and become concerned with RSI (repetitive strain injury)? Well fear not, as this has also been a worry for JC. The solution, a modification to Internet Explorer that automatically selects a link/URL/process when you hover your mouse over a selection for 2 seconds. Yes my friends, RSI is a result of having to click on too many web links…. Bless.
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| Re: JC Watch
by Ramathorne
on 2004-07-11 03:23:50
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Recent incident number 3 - How to improve your swing by JC. Employ a chemist to develop a paint that will leave a trail through the air when it’s struck, allowing you to the track the trajectory of the ball. Now all JC has to do when he goes on golfing trips in Aaron with colleagues is remember is shoes, clubs and ferry ticket.
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| Re: JC Watch
by Ramathorne
on 2004-07-11 03:33:20
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How to improve Bingo by JC (This is also a demonstration of how to compress 30 minutes of persistent rambling in to less than 35 words). Replace the unsightly and highly inefficient bingo pen with a device that simply removes the number from your bingo book/card/sheet/game. Thus removing any player participation and leaving more time for….?
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| Re: JC Watch
by Ramathorne
on 2004-07-11 03:42:17
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In relation to the 'sweetcorn' topic, and the debate about seafood on pizza's I would like to add weigh to my previous statements by letting you all know that when JC order’s from the local pizza joint whilst on a late shift, he orders the ‘Seafood Special’ – Tuna, Prawns, Green Peppers and Anchovies. Any previous reluctance to accept earlier entries must have surely now been put to rest?
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